Why did the vampire miss work? he was feeling a bit of a snooze.
What's the worst thing that has happened to you so far in 2017?
I can't tell if it's because its commercials just seem weird or if it's just weird to watch adverts on YouTube.
What do you call a person who steals a clock? a time stealt.
My wife is like the square root of -100 a perfect ten, but completely imaginary.
Why should you never trust atoms? they make up everything.
Q: why can't a blonde dial 911? a: she can't find the eleven.
How do you make a dead baby float? fuck it.
What's the difference between a boy band and a porno? the porno usually doesn't suck.
What does a redneck do at a christmas party? he raisin-ado.
What do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut you racist!
What do you call a guy who likes to watch tv and eat soap? a tunereater