I saw a woman wearing camouflage pants the other day. i said, i really see your colors.
You'll never know, it's just a matter of time.
What are the two saddest words you can say to a parrot? i don't know, you just parrot.
I love my friend from school and he is amazing in bed.
What's the best part of having sex with 25 year olds? there's 20 of them.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? a violin has strings and a fiddle has strangs.
I'm obsessed with writing thank you cards for weddings. i keep them for myself.
What do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut you racist bastard
What does a dingo call his girlfriend? nuthin' worries.
I'm just a guy who has a lot of anxiety and needs to vent a lot. Any suggestions?
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of just dividend.
I'm not a sniper, i'm just a shot with a longbow.
I like my women like i like my whiskey... ...locked down in my basement
