I'm in the best shape of my life.... ever since i ate that chocolate cake.
Two peanuts walk into a bar... one was a salted.
How do you explain the french revolution to a chinese? with long words
Definitely. I'm not a huge sports fan but I've been watching a lot of games this week.
What kind of shoe does a skeleton wear? sneakers
You'll never know, it's just a matter of time.
My wife and i laugh about how competitive we are. but i laugh more.
I'm not sure what I'm doing...
I got a new-born foghorn leghorn mixed up with kinky sex. now, he's a nine-year-old.
*falls off of gondolier* *plummets to the ground* *spoonful of champagne*
Oh no, not the usual. I'm gonna be in a crazy place this summer.