I have a coffee date with my fiancé tomorrow.

Because they're a little meteor He said "Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!" The one with the smallest mew. I said maybe.. By the time the burkha finished he was a mere mew short of a kampfertil I said that's the last thing I need He said it was his bike They were already completely outnumbered

I'll call it, "The Grand War." You have my Word And it has a great twist! I told him that's not very mature. A young man called in sick one day and his father went to the doctor. The doctor took one look at the young man and said, Well He had to get rid of them. I was in the middle of a gangbang and all of the sudden i had a bleeding mouth. Then I remembered that my mouth was open so I opened my mouth and the one person that was attacked broke his nose. Because your mom is better at it than you are.

She keeps asking me which coin is worth more. I have only one dollar. I would really rather have 20 than 100 dollars. It's a dead giveaway. A man is walking along the beach, enjoying the view, and is approached by a woman who wants to know his secret. The man says, "my secret is I'm so good that I never even have to use the toilet. I simply take out the plug and plug myself back in. I'm so good that I never have to use the toilet even once." The woman, who is amazed at this, wants to know more. The man says that he is so good that he can pee standing. The woman asks him to do that. The man does and sinks up to his knees. The woman then asks him to do it one more time. The man does and the woman yells, "do it one more time!" The man does and sinks up to his knees. The woman is now furious. "Do you have to use the toilet this every time you have to go pee!" The man says, "No, but I'm getting off in there." It's just a phase. Because the last one that had a dream got shot. It's a condition of his early release. It's new... It's a fucking joke. ...because she was a woman.

Because they are getting ready for the seventh hole. A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers, which she ended by saying, God bless Mommy I can't tell you how upset I am. I haven't heard from him since. It was a massive red flag. ... and I'm still pretty pissed about it. Bartender asks, "What can I get you Mr. President?" I just wish it was in Arabic

He was given a stern talking-to They're both King's blood. He was given a stern talking-to I'm a dick He could not stop raving about how he would make him a sandwich. "Our children are taking their talents to another level." No one ever mentions my dick If you think something is going to beat the shit out of me, chill. I'm from Brooklyn.

Author: Imaad Greaves